Forever and Almost Always
by thatSkinnyB
Summary: After 4 years without contact to Yi Jeong, Ga Eul decides to live again, renew herself again. Starting with her attitude & life style. Good girl gone bad.
1. Don't waste the pretty

Forever and Almost Always

Disclaimer: I don't own Boys over Flowers and I probably never will.

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_Summary: After 4 years without contact to Yi Jeong, Ga Eul decides to live again, renew herself again. Starting with her attitude & life style. Good girl gone bad.

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Chapter 1: Don't waste the pretty.

_You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is __it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true._

Just about two years ago I imagined my future life to end up like a fairytale. I should have known that a cold blooded Casanova would never love or even care about a girl like me. I'm not incredibly beautiful or in any way talented, I'm not rich and I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I'm imperfect in every way. Yi Jeong...I believed that he would be my Prince Charming, my soulmate and I admit that I still believe in the possibility. It's been 4 years since he left for Sweden. I never got a call or a letter from him. I think he forgot after 2 months or something in Sweden. The girl's are really beautiful there with their blonde hair and their long legs. You get the point, right?

With time I drifted into loneliness, sadness and depression. I couldn't stand seeing his friends around me. They reminded me so much of him. Naturally. They wanted me to make me feel better, but I wouldn't let them. Turning them down, even Jandi, hurt like hell. Sometimes I couldn't stand it anymore and met with them for al couple of hours. These hours made my whole week every time. But I didn't allow myself more than 4 hours a month. After those were gone, I was back to being miserable. I kind of like the pain that I feel when I'm alone. It makes me feel alive, reminds me to fight for what I believe in. You know that saying? _Why do I keep hitting myself with hammer? Because it feel so good when I stop._

"Ga Eul. I won't let you get away with this, you know. You can't hide your feelings. Remember, I'm your best friend. I know exactly how you feel." Jan Di was always there to help me and I'm really grateful for that. It's just…she doesn't help me with her advices. Maybe I should seek someone else.

Ji Hoo sat down in front of me. He smiled at me politely. "What can I help you with, Ga Eul?" I forced a politely smile back. "I wanted to ask you something. Advice, you know." He nodded.

"This thing with Yi Jeong… do you think it would make sense to hold onto him? Or should I do something with my life? Something constructive? I feel like I there is something more for me in this world. What do you think?"

He thought for a moment of something to say. "How long have you been feeling this way?" I expected anything but this question. " A while I guess." I simply asnswered

" me tell you something .A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."

Now that was advice!

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This is my first Boys over Flowers fic. So please be nice. You should know that English is not my first language. Anyway I hope you liked it .


	2. We're adults

Forever and Almost Always

Chapter 2: We're adults.

"Ji Hoo?" I called his name with respect. He looked at me and smiled. "Yes?" He usually seemed to be in his own world, but right now he was in my world, he felt the things I feel. "You're advice is the best. Did you know that?" He let out a small laugh. "I've been told so" We looked into each other's eyes. For a moment everything was perfectly silent. Until we both started laughing. Like really, really hard. But then, again the mood changed. Into the opposite. I had tears in my eyes, they just waited to come out and flow like rivers down my cheeks. "We're adults. When did that happen and how do we make it stop?" I asked him.

Ji Hoo gave me a ride home, even though I told him I didn't want to. "Ga Eul, I'm going to take you home, and NO you have absolutely no saying in this." He said, smiling playfully at me. "Ok. But deal with the fact that I love to sing along to songs in the radio . Lucky me, that you took the car today. Ji Hoo, Can I ask you another question?" He didn't took his eyes of the street. "I'm not going to sing along, too. Don't waste your time by trying to convince me to. You won't hear my singing voice, never ever." A smile crept on my face. "That's not what I wanted to ask at all, but okay. No, seriously. I watched you suffer a lot, too. I mean, I know you're in love with Jan Di & that you're having a hard time, but how do you handle the pain?" He's drifting back, into his world again. I probably shouldn't have asked that.

"Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more."

I looked at the reflection in my mirror. Same old boring me. I looked at the clothes in my closet. They're all really colorful, like the clothes of a clown. By the way I HATE clowns, they're all evil. I threw away my yellow coat. I loved that coat, but it has to go. Tomorrow would be a great day to go shopping for some real clothes.

Here's what I got:

A black coat, leather jackets, Skinny jeans, really short skirts, high heels & everything else you need for a night at the club. The only thing left to do is getting ready.

I walked through the glass doors and straight to the bar. My curly hair danced on my shoulders. I felt the height I was walking on. "Excuse me?" I hoped the bartender would look at me, but he ignored me. "EXCUSE ME!" I almost screamed, but still keeping my cool. "No need to yell. What do you want?"he definitely appeared annoyed to me. "A horse. But that's hard to get here, so I think I'll stick to a Sex on the beach for now." I said, imitating his voice. "I hat sarcasm." He said while mixing my cocktail. "And I hate you, do I show it the whole world? No. Now hurry the fuck up & give me my drink!" I said sharply, wondering what I just said & where I learned to say something like that. He finished mixing my cocktail & I handed him the money. On my way to the dance floor, I could feel the music rushing through my veins already. An hour later, I danced with random guys like there was no tomorrow. Suddenly I felt alive again. I had fun. For the first time in my life, I felt something I've never felt before. My fears seemed to be washed away. I knew that as soon as I go home, the numbness will come again. Maybe I should never leave again. Too bad, they're closing soon.

_Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains that we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it._

Okayyy. Second chapter. Hope you liked it.


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